If I could sum up the start of 2016 in a few words, dry January, detoxing, decaf, juicing and gym would feature strongly.
I’m not saying these refer to me, necessarily ,but I feel I’ve been consumed in some uber healthy bubble where by all anyone wants to talk and Tweet about it is their new clean way of living.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been trying to do my bit, using a new soup maker to make healthy meals and turning up to my gym classes nearly every week.
But in between the soups and sweat I’ve been enjoying the odd bottle of wine and if truth be told the odd burger too – everything in moderation and all that.
Yes I’m trying to eat better, yes I’m drying to drink less and yes I’m finally using my trainers for something other than taking the bins out - but that doesn’t mean I want to talk a bout it all day and give my friends a blow-by-blow account via social media.
I’m sick of seeing pint glasses filled with green gunk on Facebook, accompanied by some smug status about how smoothies have changed their lives. Mmmmm, pond water with a hint of ginger, yum!
And then there’s the Ryvita pictures with the enthusiastic captions such as “snack time”.
I don’t care how many slices of avocado and how many sprinkles of pumpkin seeds you dress them up with it still looks like it tastes - a piece of soggy cardboard.
And no matter how excited you may sound to be preparing to eat your block of sawdust let’s be honest you’d rather be having a chocolate digestive to dunk in a cup of fully caffeinated tea with two sugars.
I get that people are proud of their new healthy regime and so they should be ,but it is this misguided belief that the rest of the world wants daily updates that baffles me.
I always think these people are trying to over compensate and like to think that after posting their lettuce leaf pictures they lock themselves in a dark room and eat a king sized Mars Bar _ as long as you don’t upload a picture of said Mars Bar it’s like it never happened.
You may receive 50 ‘likes’ on Facebook for your salad pictures but surely you’re putting yourself under unnecessary pressure to get results.
It’s the health kick queens who keep their daily food intake to themselves, don’t post a calculation of the calories burnt at last night’s gym class but simply turn up on a night out looking jaw-dropping after dropping two dress sizes that are the real inspirations.