7 reasons why Doncaster is worst place to live

A sausage roll - staple diet of Doncaster toddlers.
A sausage roll - staple diet of Doncaster toddlers.

It is our hometown - but is Doncaster really the place that it is cracked up to be?
We’ve taken a light-hearted look at why our town is the worst place in the world to live - let us know your thoughts - and remember, our tongue is firmly in cheek here!

1. There’s too many pubs

Set foot in Doncaster town centre on a Friday night and you’ll never be more than about two yards from a watering hole spilling out stiletto heeled, strappy-topped Bacardi Breezer fuelled types shouting and staggering their way home. And that’s just the men.

2. There’s too many coffee shops

In days gone by, a coffee meant sitting in a greasy spoon caff and sipping lukewarm brown water from a chipped mug. Nowadays, you can’t go more than five minutes in Doncaster without seeing someone ordering a skinny, frappucinno, latte grande within earshot. Enough!

3. A slight heatwave does not mean you have to undress

Oooh look, the temperature has risen to a balmy 10c in February. Cue dozens of young men (and some who should know better) deciding to strip down to the waist and parade their ten-packs around the town centre. Put it away lads and save it for the back garden in July.

4. Young children are obliged to eat baked goods

Whining toddlers in pushchairs must always be fed baked treats by their parents, whatever their age, whatever their hunger. Nothing says “shut yer grumbling” more than a sausage roll crumbling into a dirty mess on the child’s clothes and leaving copious crumbs for the pigeons to peck at.

5. We’re just a town full of Leeds fans

Doncaster Rovers fans might well be in denial, but our hometown has way too many of our white-shirted neighbours from up the road for its own good. As much as we dislike it, the streets are full of football fans supporting a club that’s firmly rooted in the past. Support your local team!

6. Tattoos are compulsory and must be displayed at all times

DN postcode? Then it is law that your flabby pasty skinned body must be adorned with some kind of Chinese lettering, pictures of your offspring or a full sleeve of ink that only you can understand and know the relevance of. You’ll regret it when you’re older.

7. Don’t talk, just text

Why speak to people in Doncaster when you can join your friends in the pub, stare blankly at your phone for two hours, update your Facebook status and punctuate every message with “LOL” or “PMSL” and the like. Talk to each other - you never know, you might like it!

* What do you hate about Doncaster? Let us know!